I get a lot of email here with a variety of questions. We’re working on a separate, “Ask Kate,” page, but in the meantime I thought I’d better put them in with the regular posts. I’ve always thought that if one person is asking a question, there are probably 10 more people thinking the same question.
I’ve edited the original question to eliminate some personally identifying information and to make it more clear.
Hi Kate! I need some questions answered if you could. I am divorced from a sailor and I haven’t been active on base for many years. nI have a little girl by him whom is now 22 years old. I was wondering if I still have the same benefits that I did even though I’m divorced many years as a military spouse? can you E-Mail me and give me some pointers… Cindy
I know this one is going to get a lot of people riled up. There are more specific instructions for specific situations, but I’m pretty sure my answer fits her details:
Dear Cindy,
Thank you for writing to The Paycheck Chronicles. I wish I had more information for you. I’m not sure that I exactly understand your situation. You are divorced from a military member, and you want to know if there are benefits available for you?
The answer depends on a variety of factors, and also the type of benefits about which you are asking. First, there is the length of your marriage, the length of your ex-husband’s military service, and the amount of time that the two overlapped. The rule for most benefits is 20-20-20, meaning that you must have been married at least 20 years, your ex-husband must have served at least 20 years, and that you must have been married for at least 20 years of his active duty service. This is generally true for any benefit provided by the US government.
There are a few thing that aren’t really benefits but that can be designated in a divorce decree. These include the division of retired pay and the payment of SBP (Survivor Benefit Program) premiums. Again, most courts look at the length of marriage in determining whether you might be awarded those. You will need to look at the divorce decree to see if you asked for and received either of those benefits.
Of course, your daughter was eligible for Tricare medical coverage and base facility privileges since the time of your divorce, and may still be eligible if she is a full-time student.
Hope that answers your questions,
Kate
As many of you know, I’ve simplified this a bit because I’m pretty sure that Cindy doesn’t meet any of the other guidelines. If you have other questions on a similar topic, please let me know or check out Ask June’s numerous pieces talking about ex-spousal benefits.
My Grandson will be coming out of the Marines after serving four years in December. What benefits are available to him as far as going to college. He has always wanted to go into the medical field, maybe physical threapy.
M. Harris, your grandson will be eligible for the Post 9/11 GI Bill. It is a very generous program and he'd be smart to take advantage of it. You can find out all the details at http://www.gibill.va.gov.
Thank him for his service, please!
Question: I'm currently active duty AF and been in for 20+ yrs. I'm still single but wondered if I was to get remarried could my retirement be included if I went through a divorce? And would it be different if I married while I'm still on active duty compared to being retired? I don't see how the court can touch my retirement but if thats my livable income I could see them trying to get their hands on it. Thoughts??
MSgt Guest, I don't even want to guess what the courts might decide in the future. It seems like it would be unlikely that they could award retirement to a spouse who wasn't even married to you until after you retired, but who knows. I'd do some careful documentation and possible do a pre-nuptial agreement if you are worried.
Good luck to you!
Yes, this worries me! I will have a pre-nup if I decide to go down that road again. Plus, I own my house free and clear…who knows how that would play out. If I had the house included in the pre-nup, then sold it to by a new one…would it void the pre-nup and leave a large loop hole for the lawyers?
If you sold the house, then used that money to buy a new one, while you are married…then that house is a joint marital asset and divisible in a divorce. The real question may be, why consider marriage if you are already considering the divorce? If you are getting married anytime soon sit down with your significant other, a lawyer and a financial planner.
I consider it because I was married once! Guess what…it ended in divorce. She decided to mess around and got pregnant while I was deployed. Luckily, we didn’t have any kids or commingled debt. She did try to get half the house and used my pension as leverage. I had a lot less assets back then, now I have assets and I’ve worked hard for them and I’ll be damned if I lose it. Continued
I can understand if you get married young and raise a family, then everything should be equal…but I think there should be something that says “everything up to this point is yours” if a divorce happens…but if your assets grow, then everything after that is dividable. I will never go into a marriage half-a$$ed but with divorce rates so high you need to try and protect yourself…even if you don’t think you have anything to lose. I’ve seen so many people want to leave a marriage and then try to take the other person to the cleaners. If I was leaving someone I wouldn’t want anything thing from them unless I earned it. My ex-wife made twice as much as what I made and I never tried to go after a dime. She worked and earned her benefits and I earned mine. -Continued-
I do think it’s different when a spouse gives up a career to follow a service member or stays home to care for the kids. I think in this situation things should be more equal.
even as a civilian spouse i gave up my career to be with my wife who had an affair while at fort lost in the woods. after giving up my career the best job there was at the DFAC washing dishes at 4 in the mornin. i felt like i ws screwin myself everyday. but in th ename of love and SACRIFICE
I HAVE A FRIEND THAT WAS MARRIED TO AN ARMY SERVICE MEMBER WHO HAD RETIRED AFTER 20 PLUS YEARS OF SERVICE. HE PASSED AWAY A FEW YEARS AGO. HIS WIDOW SAYS THAT SHE IS NOT ENTITLED TO ANY BENEFITS, SUCH AS TRI-CARE, PAY OR ANY SBP.
IS THIS FACT?? SHE STATES THAT SHE RECEIVES ABSOLUTELY NOTHING FROM THE DoD.
I WISH TO HELP HER IF SHE HAS ANY ENTITLEMENT.
THANK YOU.
SSGT RICHARD J MOLTER
US ARMY, RETIRED
Mr. Molter, thanks for looking out for your friend. If your friend was married to the service member for 20 years, the service member was in the service for 20 years, and there were 20 years overlapping (where they were married and the service member was on active duty,) then she should be eligible for the same medical benefits as she would have retained if they had remained married. Now that the service member is deceased, it would require a great amount of effort to gather their marriage and divorce records, as well as his service records, to establish her eligibility. Not impossible, just challenging.
Regarding the Survivor Benefit Plan (SBP), the divorce decree would have had to specify that the service member keep her on his SBP, to the extent he was able under the rules of SBP. If there was no such order in the divorce decree, and the service member did not pay SBP premiums, she would not be eligible for an SBP annuity.
Hope that helps!
My question is about benefits for my children. My x-husband is retired USMC & carries TriCare medical & dental benefits for our children (twins, age 10). Their primary care provider is on a nearby base. Since the divorce, he has put a "passcode" on the benefits (which code he hasn't given me) and without this passcode, TriCare cannot give me any information/set up referrals, etc. and without an ID card (I obviously don't have one & he took our children's), I cannot get on base or have them seen. Our daughter is sick today and she needs to see a doctor and their father won't call me back. I guess my only option is to take them off-base and pay for it myself. This is so frustrating since they do have benefits. Any advice?
Kathleen, I think you are going to need to get a lawyer, and quickly. As their custodial parent, their ID cards should be with you, and for exactly this reason. I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this. I hope your daughter feels better soon and you and your ex-husband can come to some sort of arrangement.
Thank you so much for getting back to me! One more question: if I have a child with me who has an ID card, can I get on base using their ID card?
My former spouse was in the USMC. He joined in 1965, & we married 8/6/1967. Our divorce was final 11/17/1990. He retired on or about 09/1985.
I receive 50% of his retirement pay. Today I find myself questioning if I qualify for commissary, PX or medical privileges.
Can you give me some direction? Do I not meet the 20/20/20?
Thank you,
Ms. Trinidad, This is not my area of expertise. However, I do not believe that you meet the last portion of the 20/20/20 rule, as you were not married for 20 years of his military service. If I am doing the math correctly, you would fall into the 20/20/15 group. An excellent list of the rules regarding 20/20/15 former spouse benefits is listed here: http://www.militaryfamily.org/your-benefits/marri…
Are there recent changes regarding qualifications of ex-spouses for the retirement benefits from the retired military man?
Ms. Raney, this is not a subject that I deal with regularly. However, I do not know of any recent changes to the Uniformed Services Former Spouses' Protection Act. The National Military Family Association (NMFA) keeps up to date on these type of issues and their website is at <a href="http://www.militaryfamily.org” target=”_blank”>www.militaryfamily.org
I am an ex-spouse of a service member. I have been receiving 50 per cent of his military retirement since our divorce in 2005. My divorce decree states nothing of how long I would receive it. My question is: will I continue receiving the retirement if I remarry?
Mrs. Tibbs, This is a question for a lawyer. However, I *think* that if it has been awarded as part of a divorce decree, it remains marital property. If your divorce decree also requires your husband to provide Survivor Benefit Plan coverage, your remarriage may affect your coverage. This flyer has good information: http://www.retirees.af.mil/factsheets/factsheet.a…
Hello Kate….Here is my question. I am separated from a man that was recently medically retired from the Army with at least 90% disability. We were married for 13 years and he was in the Army for 11 of those. We have children together. I'm trying to find out if his VA or medical pension can be included in his pay for child support. I've heard yes and no. Are than any other benefits I can get since he isn't doing the full 20 years? Any information is greatly appreciated. Thank you!
Rachel, let me start by saying that you need a good attorney who is very familiar with the military. A divorce is too big an issue for you to try to handle it on your own. It is important that it be handled correctly the first time because there is no second time! I'm sure this is a stressful period of time for you, and you need the experience and judgement of an outsider.
The final decision on which pays are used for calculating child support will be up to the court where you file for divorce. There are rules and guidelines but it seems that the courts don't always understand them or follow them.
Good luck to you1