Required Family Support

Army kids

In my time wandering around the internet, I come across lots of discussion and questions regarding the amount of support that a military member is required to give their spouse and/or children during a separation or a deployment.  Obviously, this is a hot topic and there is a lot of emotion involved.  The good news is that there isn’t a lot of guesswork involved:  every service has some sort of regulation that addresses this issue.  In general, service members are required to provide some support to their family.  The details vary markedly between the services, though, so be sure to get the right information for your branch.

There are a few things to keep in mind:  any court order or legal agreement will override the services guidelines.  There are extenuating circumstances that will override the guidelines.  Also, these guidelines are designed to address temporary needs while the parties pursue the appropriate legal services and come to some sort of agreement outside of the military.  These guidelines are not designed to be used as permanent requirements.

In the event of non-support, the spouse requesting support should start with the service member’s commander.  If resolution is not happening at that level, then contact the local JAG office, then possibly the inspector general.  Support provided outside of a court order can not be made through garnishment – it is up to the service member to set up an allotment or provide the support directly.  The command can, however, encourage the service member to provide such support and use remedies such as officer fitreps, enlisted evals, and non-judicial and judicial punishments as appropriate.  Also, it is possible for DFAS to recoup BAH that has been paid to the service member and has not been appropriately used for support of family.  It doesn’t happen often, but it is possible.

All these guidelines are designed to encourage the service member and the spouse to seek permanent court or administrative judgments on the subject of support.  The military services does not intend these guidelines to be used in place of appropriate civil judgments, but rather to bridge the time between a separation and legal action.  It is in both parties’ best interest to come to an outside agreement or pursue the issue through the civil courts or administrative departments.

Air Force

I’m starting with the Air Force for two reasons:  it comes first in the alphabet, and it has the shortest (and least clear) guidelines.  Air Force Instruction 36-2906, Personal Financial Responsibility states that commanders are to “Advise members of the Air Force policy that they are expected to provide adequate financial support to family members and the procedures which the family member may implement to obtain involuntary collection of support through garnishment or statutory allotments.” (Paragraph 3.2.1) It also states that military members “Will provide adequate financial support of a spouse or child or any other relative for which the member receives additional allowances for support. Members will also comply with the financial support provisions of a court order or written support agreement.” (Paragraph 7.2)

The Air Force does not specify suggested amounts of support.  If a commanding officer receives a complaint of non-support, they are supposed to require the service member to prove that they are supporting their family.  The commanding officer is not permitted to define what level of support is considered adequate.

Army

Army Regulation 608-99, Family Support, Child Custody and Paternity, addresses the issue of family support.  I find this regulation to be wordy and a bit confusing.  There are some parts that are perfectly clear, however, including this (from Paragraph 1-5-b):

Soldiers are required to manage their personal affairs in a manner that does not bring discredit upon themselves or the U. S. Army. This responsibility includes—
(1) Maintaining reasonable contact with family members so that their financial needs and welfare do not become official matters of concern for the Army (see para 2–1).
(2) Conducting themselves in an honorable manner with regard to parental commitments and responsibilities (see chap 2).
(3) Providing adequate financial support to family members (see paras 2–3 through 2–9).

There is a formula for calculating the amount of support that the Army suggests, located in paragraph 2-6.  It looks complicated, but as long as you are talking about one family unit, it isn’t as hard as it looks.  It only gets complicated when there are multiple families, such as when a soldier has children from two different marriages.  The formula is based on the non-locality BAH rate, sometimes called BAH II.  These rates change each year and this link goes to the 2011 rates.

In general, if a soldier is supporting a single family, the soldier is required to either let the family live in the government provided quarters that he or she receives in lieu of BAH, or provide support in the amount of the current year’s non-locality BAH rate.  If there are multiple families, or if the dependents of a single family are residing in separate locations, the non-locality BAH rate is pro-rated amongst the number of eligible dependents.  For example, if a soldier has a wife and child, and the wife has moved home with her parents but the child has gone to live with the other grandparents, the soldier would provide 1/2 of the non-locality BAH rate to the wife and 1/2 to the persons caring for the child.

The North Carolina State Bar Association has an easy-to-read fact sheet about Army support guidelines.  You might find it helpful if the actual regs are hard for you to read.

Coast Guard

Coast Guard regulations regarding family support can be found in Commandant Notice 1000, Chapter 8.M, Support of Dependents.  This sentence, found in 8.M.1.a, sums it up nicely,

It should be noted that while the Coast Guard lacks the authority under federal law to compel members to support their dependents or to exercise discretion over a member’s pay with the exception of garnishment orders, the obligation to support dependents is nonetheless considered binding on all members under penalty of administrative or disciplinary action, or both.

The instructions further say that, in the absence of a court order directing the amount of support to be provided, a commanding officer is to use the following formula:

Spouse Only:  BAH Difference* plus 20% of Base Pay

Spouse plus one child:  BAH Difference* plus 25% of Base Pay

Spouse plus two or more children:  BAH Difference* plus 30% of Base Pay

*For this formula, BAH Difference is defined as the difference between the With Dependents and Without Dependents rate for that service member, based upon rank and location.

Marine Corps

The Marine Corps explains the support it recommends in the Marine Corps Manual for Legal Administration, Chapter 15, Financial Support of Family Members.  The Marine Corps uses two figures to determine the minimum amount of support it suggests.  First, it takes the total number of family members (including the service member), and divides the amount of BAH/OHA by the number of family members.  It then multiplies the result by the number of family members being supported by the spouse who is seeking support from the service member.  For example, if a service member is receiving $1000 in BAH, and the spouse is seeking support for her/himself and two children, the service member would be ordered to provide $750 per month in support (3 people times 1/4 BAH each.)

Here’s what it looks like in list form:

  • 1 family member:  1/2 BAH/OHA, minimum $350 each.
  • 2 family members:  1/3 BAH/OHA, minimum $286 each.
  • 3 family members:  1/4 BAH/OHA, minimum $233 each.
  • 4 family members:  1/5 BAH/OHA, minimum $200 each.
  • 5 family members:  1/6 BAH/OHA, minimum $174 each.
  • 6 or more family members:  1/7 BAH/OHA, minimum $152 each.*  For more than six family members, the BAH/OHA pro-rated shared will continue to increase, but the minimum amount does not.

Without a court order or similar administrative judgement, the amount of support shall not exceed 1/3 of the Marine’s gross military pay per month.

Navy

Navy guidelines for family support can be found in the MILPERSMAN Section 1754-030, Support of Family Members.  The Navy formula is pretty simple.  You calculate the sailor’s gross pay by adding the base pay and housing allowances.  Do not include Basic Allowance for Subsistance (BAS), incentive pay, sea pay, hazardous duty pay, or any other specialty pays.  Then divide the gross pay as listed below:

  • Spouse only, 1/3 gross pay
  • Spouse and one child, 1/2 gross pay
  • Spouse and two or more children, 3/5 gross pay
  • One minor child only, 1/6 gross pay
  • Two minor children only, 1/4 gross pay
  • Three minor children only, 1/3 gross pay

Let me remind y’all – I’m not a lawyer.  I’ve basically cut and pasted this information from the relevant service publications.  Do your own research, too!

 

About the Author

Kate Horrell
Kate Horrell is a military financial coach, mom of four teens, and Navy spouse. She has a background in taxes and mortgage banking, and a trove of experience helping other military families with their money. Follow her on twitter @realKateHorrell.

52 Comments on "Required Family Support"

  1. KateKashman | April 16, 2011 at 4:40 am |

    Shavon, the short answer is no, except to the extent that they need to make sure the bills are paid in order to keep their credit clear. Each branch has slightly different rules about "payments in kind" – some branches say that paying a bill means that you can deduct that amount from the minimum suggested support, some don't. Also, don't forget three important points: these rules are designed to fill in the gap before a proper, legally-binding support plan is crafted, the commander has the latitude to not require the suggested support for many reasons, and there are always extenuating circumstances. Nothing written here is legal advice – check with your legal services department for more detailed information.

  2. I just received notice that my soon to be ex is requesting support. I am contacting the Army Legal office to find out what my rights are. I have custody of my daughter and I dont live in GOV housing.

  3. My daughter had to leave husband,Navy, he was physically abusing . the last straw was when he threw a remote control across the room at me and left a 7 in welt that swelled up. and is now a huge bruise. she was smart and took photos this time.
    She drove 15 hours across the country, she quit a job,and left almost all her things behind for being in fear,her first thought was to get away from him because the next time could be her last time.
    He gave her 100.00 to get me home.
    He took 2000.00 wedding ring.
    Now that she is safe at home across the country. He called her and said he "talked to his command and explained his side of story: haha i will bet he did! Command told him he does not have to pay me anything.
    What does she do now she is a wreck….

  4. I need help please. This is my first marriage and it turned out horrible. ..My husband is in the Army, he was sending me support for the last eight months. He was very abusive he even broke my jaw, which I went through surgery on base for. Well the day before my last Dr. Appointment he came after me again that morning because he was going to be late for work. Essentially he almost bit my ear in two. I left that day and didn’t return. He stopped sending me support and went a wall when I tried to contact his commander. I recently found out he is back what should be my next step? I have tried to get ahold of his unit on fort Bragg, but I have not had any luck in doing so. Everytime I have tried to contacT his CQ they seem to be giving me the run around about getting numbers for his superiors. I live in Kentucky now while he is still in north Carolina. Any information would be helpful. Thank you Katie.

  5. my wife deployed to kuwait on July of last year! Being that the economy was so bad, me and my wife decided that i go to new york while she gets deployed! a couple weeks after i get to new york her mother and sister wants to borrow the car while theyre in the city! i gave them the car and they said i could pick up the car in three days. i go to pick up my car and her mother and sister says theyre not giving me my car back! i cursed her mother out and weve been beefin ever since. I end up homeless( literally) in new york

  6. because all my clothes, marriage papers and personal sentimental belongings were in the car! sleeping on trains and many other places i care not to divulge but i survived and made it back home to my daughter for christmas with a gift (i struggled for it though)! make a long story short she's been found guilty in a military court plus i have physical information of her fraternizing with another soldier while she's still married! she missed her payment this month and last month after her commander instructed her to have my support no later than the 29 of february! how do i collect backpay< my car< and other things such as furniture! i believe i can get her for adultery also because the soldier and myself had a run in when we were living at our duty station! what should be done! i.e. i am also taking antidepressants and sleeping pills from the trauma

  7. My husband is in the Marines and just recently cut off access to my card on our joint account through USAA then called and told me he did it, can he get into trouble for that? We don’t live together and I’ve got a job that barely gets me by half the time. Aren’t I entitled at least some of the BAH for my living costs were I currently live.

  8. norcalpaxton1 | August 16, 2012 at 11:06 pm |

    If I am overseas in the barrack on an unaccompanied tour, but my daughter lives in san diego, do i rate BAH for the 6 months i am supposed to have her with my 50% custody? there is nothing in the JFTR that clearly states yes or no. There is an order that use to say clearly i do, but it now says to refer to the JFTR. IPAC won't help, they keep giving me the run around

  9. My wife is in air force. She informed me while on deployment she wanted a dissolution of marriage. She took all of our money out of account including the spousal deployment money. Who can I report her to? I need help.

  10. If my husband and I aready filed for dicorve (ca state, navy) is it too late to find out about spousal support? I have been a stay at home wife and student for the last 2 years of being married and he has been giving me money only until divorce is final which is in april. From there I am supposed to move out of base housing with no where to go, no job, and I am in school still. I moved down here with him from WA state. Anything helps. Thank you!

  11. My ex husband is a U.S. Marine, who after his last deployment sexually assaulted my son. He has cancelled the original order for child support, then remarried quickly so my daughters support would be less. We go month after month w no support and marine corps isnt enforcing it.

  12. For those person who are seeking Basic Housing Allowances; first start with your spouse's command. If the Plantoon Sergeant isn't helpful, go to the 1st Sergeant if he or she isn't helping, go to the Company's Command such as a MAJ, CAPT, or LT. If that doesn't work go to the Battalion Commander, which is a LT Colonnel or full bird Colonnel. If that does not work, write your local Congress Representative then someone wil respond because the Army personnel does not want to get in trouble for not handling problem that surface at units. Besides, the Military Armed Forces is downsizing, and no one wants to keep incompotent service personnel on payroll. Keep in mind the Army works directly with Congress.

    To retrieve the Command's information off line type in your spouse's unit information and search under the section that reads contact us. If anyone is married to a service member, then his or her spouse is definitely entitled to receiving BAH.

    Get what you deserve, today! Lastly, contact the JAG Office to seek what kind of spousal support is due to a spouse, or child. Never give up on what is rightfully yours, and always research for answers.

    God's blessings! Peace!

  13. My friend is a marine and he got married not so long ago less than 3months and they only stayed living together for 1 week because they got married to young and they didn’t understand each other no more as a couple… and he tried filling the annulment papers but she wont sign them because she wants him to pay her money for the wedding she planned eventhough she ask him to marry her in the 1st place… and now he has to give her money because she’s his wife but now she wants 20thousand dollars from him plus she wants to take him to court is that even legal??? Can he still get the wedding annuled??? Will he go to jail??

  14. my wife is in the army. I have no job I am in school and she does not support me at all but she wants a divorce what should I do?

  15. My wife has been in the navy since December and I havent received any money from her to help support our daughter and were married

  16. Ossie McMahan | June 18, 2013 at 7:25 am |

    My son is currently married to a TSgt in the AF. His wife wants a divorce and she says she only has to pay him the difference between BAH w/dependents and BAH w/o dependents which comes to $42 dollars a month. I don’t think this can be right. She wants a divorce but he is still living in her house. Can you help me?

  17. my daughter had to leave her marine husband, physical, mental, verbal abuse, did not provide money or food for her while he was off at training for six weeks, he threatened to kill her and their unborn baby and her family over the phone. She came home got a mpo against him, had the baby. He recently left for deployment… what should she do next? He is addicted to porn, alcohol, do not know what else, has also not been paying bills. what should we do?

  18. I am active duty… my wife was convicted of felony DUI, has been through numerous alcohol treatment programs and is still actively abusing alcohol e.g., binge drinking and blackouts lasting several days; hundreds of dollars each week spent in bars and liquor stores. I am PCSing soon and she doesn't want to move. How much financial support do I have to provide to ensure I don't have any spousal support issues?

  19. My ex-husband is in the military and one day in 2006 he can home and said that he medically discharged from the military. We divorced in 2007. I saw him working at a civilian job in the city. During our divorce we were on good terms and I thought we were being honest with each other. So we had our day in court for our divorce but he had got there early and called me while I was making childcare arrangements for our son and stated that he was there and the clerk did not see our case. He told me that he was going to leave and I didn't have show. So I relaxed. I got a call from him 20 mins later and said they just found our name and the judge said you have 15 minutes to get there… I rushed with my son in my hand. 10 mins. later he called and said the judge couldn't wait any longer. He told me everything was fine…. Of course that was a lie, it all was. When we went to modify our child support order one day in 2011, they hit me with the news that they were just informed that he was being deployed. Also discovered that he was in the military since 1993. I feel foolish, how did I marry a military guy and not know it (I found out that he kept his uniforms at his moms house!). I asked him and he wont answer… but please someone who knows… what would the benefit to him be to keep me in the dark (not tell me about his military status? I just thought he had to tell me in 2005 and 2011, because of deployments!

  20. Why do service members have to pay bah for there spouse if they commit adultery? I can understand giving bah for the child, but what if she lives with another man and had 2 other kids by this man?

  21. Justwondering | August 17, 2013 at 4:32 pm |

    My so to be ex is n the Air Force, we have two children a 5yr old and a 11month old. I asked for a divorce befor he left for a remote to Korea, he has made it clear he's going to do everything in his power to show he can't pay much n child support, but want to take the kids from me and have me pay. I have always cared for them even when he was home, I've spoken to a coule of lawyers already and said that the court will decide what is best for the children money has nothing to do with it. But I still need reassurance, has anyone been in this situation and if so what was the outcome? Thanks

  22. married to marine for 5 months, recently moved back home out of military housing with my oldest child and our child together(before marriage). he has also moved out of housing into apt with friend….havent a clue who or what to do, to recieve support while I settle children and find job. He has stopped all allotments set up during marriage…..help

  23. My son’s father(we’ve never been married to each other)is active duty army. We have court ordered child support in place and just recently he took me back to court for a modification. The outcome increased the amount he is required to pay and is to be taken from his pay directly rather than him paying it manually as he’s done in the past. In the interim he’s supposed to still make manual payments until the money begins to be deducted. He has not done so thus far. I have not gotten any support since June 4 and he wouldn’t even help me with my son’s school clothes. During the course of this ordeal I discovered he receives full BAH for my son. It was my understanding that single soldiers were only entitled to BAH DIFF if their child(ren) don’t live with then 51% of the time. Is that accurate? If so, he’s committing fraud is he not? My son has never lived with his father. This is the first time he’s ever lived in the same state with him and even now he barely even sees him. Can I report that he’s getting full BAH for a child that he’s not caring for 51% of the time? If so, who would I report it to?

  24. I am a Senior Airman, with a pre-military marriage. I have been pursuing a divorce, but have been waiting for my wife to get back on her feet (get a job, get a car, etc). Long story short, this has been going on for over 3 years, and we have not lived together since I left home for basic training. I have been paying for my wife's housing all this time. Initially, I provided enough to pay for her entire apartment (~$600, approx 1/3rd of my BAH at the time). As the year progressed and she continued to show no effort in becoming independent so we could file for divorce, I cut her down to only the difference between single and married BAH (about $200). She has consistently pushed me and claimed I do not support her enough, and "need to be a husband for once". She has asked me to provide her $500 a month, which is half my BAH. Essentially, she wants me to pay for two apartments in two different states, with one housing allowance.

    I have reached the breaking point and do not care what happens to her now, as she continues to show no progress in stabilizing her situation by holding down a job, and instead spends her time out using drugs (there is no way for me to prove this to a court, however) and takes trips across the country to see friends. My question is, am I still legally obligated at this point to continue to pay for her? We have been separated for over 3 years, and the only thing that would send a clear message to her would be to cut her off completely, and send divorce paperwork to her mailbox.

    I'm heading to the legal office next week to see what my options are. Any advice would be appreciated.

  25. I’m married like 2yrs and he has my sOn in states I can’t go in states coz he is not doing my paper work is theres a way I can get my son to my husband or do my paper work i have military I’d and I’m he’s 2page but till now he don’t do my visa my health care ,SSS , I just want my son back to me …is there’s a way that I can get my son to him in states I’m current living in the Philippines ….

  26. Jadden, go ahead and report it to family advocacy. He is however entitled to BAH with dependent a, but it sounds like you just want to start trouble so have at it. Hopefully they reduce his pay so you get less….? Ever think of that?

  27. My husband (soon to be ex) was a Marine who was medically discharged in February. We have been married over a year, and he recently asked me for a divorce and kicked my daughter (who is not his) and myself out of the house that we were renting together 2 months ago. He took the car that he got for me (but it is in his name not mine) and has pretty much told me he will not help me with anything. I have had to relocate my daughter and myself and now I have to find another car to get back and forth to work with. He is still collecting dependant pay for my daughter and I. I am wondering if I am entitled to any of that money?

  28. My son in law and I use that term lightly because he doesn't deserve to be my son in law is deployed. Since he was deployed in May of this year it took him a couple of months (am assuming a couple of months) to post on a military dating site that he is separated from my daughter which he is NOT and found himself an online girlfriend which he has posted on Facebook that he loves her and will be coming to live with her when he comes back from deployment. I was told last night by the girls mother that he (son in law) sent this girl $1600.00 dollars to buy a car with when his wife had no vehicle to drive after having been in an accident. I saw him post on FB laughing at her because she did not have a way to work and had to spend what little she makes on a rental car so she could have a way to work……does anyone know WHO I can talk to to send her information on what can be done about her husband?

  29. I’m married to my active duty army spouce. When he and I got married I was active duty as well. Now we have 2small children and he just recently deployed. We have a joint account and I live in the on base housing with our children. He has changed the direct deposit of his paycheck into an account with just his name. Although I have power of attorney general and special I’m not trying to be the bitchy wife trying to take everything. I do not want a divorce and neither does he. But he does not want to provide very much money for me to pay the few bills I have in my name and to buy groceries and formula for our infant. He isgiving me a sort of ultimatum. Take I or leave it kinda thing. But considering we spent the last 5yrs in hawaii and didn’t barely own long sleeve’s and are now going to be in for our first white winter..I have to get winter clothes and he doesdoesn’t think they need them etc etc…I just want to know if there is even a bottom line amount he is saposed to make sure we have to provode the basics. Were married for 3yrs and have two small children and I live on post. I’m unemployed currently because he is unwilling to pay for daycare of two small children if I get a job. Hence why I have to just stay at home. I would appreciate any help in this area. I couldn’t find any online info on the subject of married spouces not seeking divorce but he doesn’t like to provide money for me to support the kids. Hes deployed and makes around $1500 every 2 weeks but doesn’t even like to give me 1/4 of that. Please..any info is helpful

  30. I am currently going through a divorce with a Marine. We filed almost a year ago and we are still batteling for custody. In the mean time he is making 3,000 a month and saything that I only get $600 of it. I am working two jobs trying to support our child, and going to school full time. He has only met her three times and is trying for joint custody. He left me with all the bills in our joint name and if I dont pay them it goes towards me. So basically my bills are 1,300 a month and I am working my butt off living alone trying to support our daughter while he lives in luxuray with no responsibility. My daycare alone is $592 a month. Is there anything I can do? My lawyer has been working on the case, I have called numerous places and can not seem to get an answer. Can anyone help or give input as to if that $600 is right or how to legally give him responsibilities for half the bills.

  31. I need some help I recently took my daughters dad to court in August for Childsupport his in the marines he will not show the judge what his total pay is on his LES he tells the judge he doesn’t know so since August we have been in and out court 5 times because the judge doesn’t know what his pay is . How can I proof his total monthly income ? Also he has been claiming that she’s lives with him in order to get more bah she’s 13 and never lived with
    him . Any advice ?

  32. My wife and I decided to get a divorce right before I was going to move down to her duty station with her. She had already been living in base housing for a few weeks. It has been 7 months since we have been seperated and she is still living in base housing. Can she get in trouble for this? Also, how can I get a hold of her Command to ask for Spouse Support?

  33. Morgan Carter | December 7, 2013 at 8:19 pm |

    So I recently got out if the army may. With a chapter 8. My husband who is still in left me when I was 9 months pregnant. Yes it is his. And no I’m not living with him anymore. He’s in wa stationed at ft Lewis and I’m in ca. On my own. Only on unemployment at the moment. I’m not too sure what he’s is supposed to be giving me. He’s an e4 and hasn’t even given me a dollar for December. I just need advice on what I should do. Or if anyone knows how much he is supposed to give me. We are not divorced yet but it is in progress. I have already contacted his chain of command. Supposedly he got in trouble for last month but he is even worse this month with not even a dollar. I need as much as advice as possible

  34. My ex-husband is in the National Guard and he keeps skipping out on his child support order. It gets to where the state enforcement has to threaten to take away his licences before he pays anything. He was getting it taken out of his military pay but it has stopped coming to me. I think he has been skipping drills. What can I do? I don’t know what unit he is in and he won’t tell me. Could his commander do something about it?

  35. Leslie Livesay | January 1, 2014 at 3:05 pm |

    Army spouse, I having issues with my wife and I am afraid that she has abandoned me while leaving for boot camp Dec. 30, 2013. She has been committing adultey for about two months before going into boot camp. We are not legally separated or divorced . I am scared that she is going to go back to MEPS and lie to them about not being married and taking me and my girls off her paperwork for DEERS and ID and BAH and everything else. My wife is the LOVE OF MY LIFE and decided two months before she leaves for boot camp she doesn't want to have the responsibilities of a wife and two step girls going into the Army. This is so WRONG !
    Anyways, my question to you is . She can get in trouble if she lies correct.
    Her whole reason of joining the ARMY is to PROVIDE A BETTER LIFE FOR HER FAMILY. ME AND OUR GIRLS. Then she did that.
    Could someone please help me.
    How long should it take to get the DEERS packet and information for ID CARD. What if I do not receive it and who do I need to call if she does not follow through with her commitments .

    Please HELP ME !

  36. my son's father married a member of the u.s. army after i conceived our son but before he was born is my son entitled to any support

  37. Hi,
    Well my biggest confusion is why is my husvabd getting $1383 for housing plus $250 for family separation and is only obligated to send me $681? I have several medical bills due to a severe eye condition while my husband is sending $1,000 to his mother, hiding money from me, paying for dating websites, and blocking me from our joint account.

  38. Allison Woods | April 2, 2014 at 5:36 pm |

    My husband and I have been separated for 2 years now. He was active duty marine in beaufort sc. He cheated a lot. All of the military knew. I was talking to his higher ups and they never did anything for me. Just kept saying to work it out. He does not support his child at all. He got out of active duty and went in reserve. He receives bah for going to school as well. My son has not received a dime. I told him that he gets paid bc of the two dependents that do not depend on him. He says no that the bah is his money and we won’t see a dime. He also has a part time job. He’s been in and out of cash paying jobs so that no support can be taken. Since we haven’t been together, I dont know who to contact. He’s received separation pay while active when we aren’t together and used our base house as a pay house. He’s also caught an std that he order pills online to treat. He tells me it’s not on his Marine record. Idk how this can be. …..what can I do now? It’s been so tough supporting my son alone.

  39. Jessica Compton | April 20, 2014 at 11:16 am |

    My husband is navy. I got out of the army two years ago when we decided to have me go to school. I also have a Lil girl that is mine but knows him as dad since she was very little. About a year ago I think he lost his mind. He’s been threatening me, punched my car, cheating, so I asked for a divorce but we agreed to wait until I graduate and get a job, now with a month away from graduation he says he’s not payinganything and i need to move right now. He knows I have no where to go. He also knows he legally can’t kick me out but he is becoming more and more aggressive, and verbal. Its just not a good situation for my daughter he refuses to leave. He now tells me he wants nothing to do with either one of us. Is there laws for step children? And what can I do about the living situation?

  40. Help! My daughters father is on child support in my state. His wife got deployed to another state and about a month after that he moved there with her. Needless to say he haven't paid me child support in over 4 months and feed me false stories on how he's going to send something and never does. What can I do? Any suggestion,opinion, or solution is appreciated!

  41. I was married to a Navy man for 22 years. We divorced, I maintained my ID benefits. I remarried another Navy man, dropped benefits from first husband, but had benefits with second husband. He committed adultery and we split… I lost my my benefits. If my marriage were annulled, could I retain my benefits from my first husband?

  42. amyfanning82 | May 17, 2014 at 10:53 am |

    I was married 9 1/2 yrs. My husband is a TSgt E-5 in the Air Force with 11 years in. I have text, Facebook posts, and 50 plus photos showing he was have inappropriate relations not just with other women since 2011 but with airmen while he was an NCO. I also have written documentation from him admitting to having a girlfriend while we are still married and he verbally confirmed it with me. I have been told conflicting things regarding how much he is required to support me with until the divorce is finalized. some say his whole BAH but others say part. Where can I find the dollar amount of that?

  43. Part One: My daughter is married to a Marine. He wants a divorce. They have been married 1 1/2 years. They have no children. They are in Hawaii. We think he is bipolar and this has added to the destruction of the marriage. He has never been diagnosed but his mother is bipolar and his brother and mother have both stated he too is bipolar. Can she demand a full psychological evaluation? There is documentation of his bizarre behavior. Documentation exists of a possible adulterous relationship with his boss or at least fraternization. Additionally, he has made false accusations against my daughter that she proved were false. There are many things in the marriage including financial abuse that she never reported as she wanted to honor her vows and stand beside her husband for better for worse in sickness and in health.

  44. Part Two: Now, she no longer has that option as HE wants to move forward with a divorce. It appears that command has only HIS interest at heart. When she reports to them, they immediately report to him and call her reports "griping" when they are legitimate concerns. They tell her she is Marine Family and they will protect her but there actions are to the contrary. She is alone, no family or support in Hawaii and feels like she is up against the entire Marine Corps alone. He supported her during this time. Prior to the marriage she always worked. Now all she wants/needs is to get back to the mainland with all her belongings, help obtaining a place to live, and support until she can find employment/support herself again.

  45. Part Three: He served her papers stating he was not providing any support. She has not signed them. She has been told conflicting courses of action and is so overwhelmed and confused. He told her the papers were worhless without her signature but upon reading them they state if she does not respond within 20 days the divorce can go through. She needs a civilian lawyer familiar with Military Divorce. Will he have to pay for a lawyer for her? I am trying to help her but it is hard with the time difference and I work full time myself. We are afraid he is up to something. Please respond. We really need guidance/help. Thank you, a concerned and caring Mom.

  46. Dolores, marriage is not a military issue. Your daughter needs to file for separation and, if she thinks it is appropriate, spousal support. The Marine Corps does have regulations (listed quite clearly above) that detail the Marine Corps' expectation for support until the time that the courts are able to act. Beyond that, your daughter will need to pick up and move on.

  47. My husband is going to get family separation pay while he's in school for a few months but he said it's his money and he won't send me any. He doesn't give me money now but I saved up money for my bills before I quit my job and moved to his duty station. So I pay everything on my own. Can he get in trouble for keeping it and not sending me anything? I just feel like he shouldn't get it at all if he's just going to spend it on personal stuff for himself.

  48. I caught my wife cheating on me for a second time. I filed for divorce and she feld the country with my kids. I am fighting currently for custody of my kids, for my divorce, and filed a Hague Convention Violation. My question is. Since she fled the country of her own free will, do I have to provide her a vehicle since she abandoned her vehicle here. I am stationed in Ramstein Germany. I cant get an appointment with the JAG here on base for the next 30 days due to them being booked solid. I need an legal answer to this because she is trying to get my leadership to force me shipping her car to Colorado.

  49. Who do you contact about this if they are with the Army in KY…. he told my niece he wanted a devorce after Christmas and she had to move back home to Oklahoma with no support at all blocked her from facebook and blocks all her phone calls she had a 2yr old daughter and he has not filed for devorce but still is drawing money on them…. we need help

  50. My daughter receiving child support from his father was in Navy Military, and for some reason, the allotment stop last November 2013 with no further notice. And until now I can't find answer why they stop the child support since my daughter is only 14 years old. Please Kindly assist me on this matters. I don't know where to contact because where living Japan. And I try to contact Disbursing and PSD but no one assist me and instead they just ignore me and said that they don't have nothing to do on it…. Please help me for this matters.

  51. I have child to a navy service men and his married and has family, but we had an agreement that he will support his child because his not in his custody and where living in japan. And he did, the navy help me to get fix the needs of my child from his father including ID to get inside the base and comissary, but the child support cut off last November 2013 until now and I don't know where to Ask why it's cut off since my child is only 14 years old and my they said before that the child support was given up to 18 years old of the child. and the ID also expired and I call the PSD in yokosuka base and the person that I talk too said that they don't have nothing to do on it because the father deployed in San Diego and his not living in Japan anymore. Is there any hope to report the cut child support to the incharge on this child support? Please help me I don't have contact to his father anymore all I know is that he is in San Diego Ca.

  52. I am at a loss. My soon to be ex-husband in the Marine Corps filed the child support papers with the wrong LES! I do know that until our divorce is final he still get BAS. He filed the child support without BAS and is only paying $336 in the state of Kentucky for our son. I am struggling on my own to take care of the baby as it is. He also won't ship our belongings back to us from California. Complains to me that he can't afford anything but is living in an apartment instead of the barracks as an E-3. Not to mention flying his former girlfriend from Michigan to California I'm pretty sure of to see him. That particular one I have no concrete proof of but I have a gut feeling that he did. I have no idea who to contact or how to take care of this and frankly, if I had it my way, he would be eternally out of our lives.

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